Beautiful.

A good friend of mine said this to me a couple of years ago. I have never forgotten it. It has since changed my approach to parenting three little girls. Most of it is how I talk about myself around them. Of course I have those days when I look in the mirror and wish I could just crawl back in bed and never be seen by public, or put on a pair of pants that depressingly squeeze tighter than they did last week, or end up with hair that looks like it belongs on a horses rear-end after I have done all I could to make it look nice. The key is, however, to never express it.

I was surprised at an experience I had, one day, when my 5 year old was watching me get ready to go somewhere. I had no make-up on, my hair was a mess, and my eyebrows were in desperate need of tweezing. She simply asked, "Mom, do you think that you look pretty?" It caught me off guard, and I honestly drew a blank for a split second as to what I should say. Without wasting any more time, I looked at myself in the mirror, smiled, and said, "Yes, I do!"  Can you imagine what she would have thought if I would have said, "No, I don't." What would that tell her about how she should feel about herself?

Even though I didn't whole-heartedly believe those words when I said them, SHE believed them, and now feels comfortable and safe to feel that way about herself. So I guess my motto is,  "Fake it till I Make it." (And by the way, it feels good to hear kind words about yourself, FROM yourself).

 As women, it seems that our modest nature tells us that it's vain or prideful to say such things, and that we are snobby if we say kind things about ourselves. My friends, we are depriving ourselves from a healthy self-esteem, and taking that precious gift from our daughters as well.

I have had quite a few experiences with weight loss and I can tell you right now- It will never happen unless you become friends with yourself. Love yourself for who you are "AS-IS." I believe that this applies to every other goal we have in life as well- If you love yourself, You WILL have the ability to do great things.  

 I am not an expert in the topic, nor do I intend this list to come across as a perfect solution to self-esteem issues. I want to share them, however, because they promote good feelings in our home, and perhaps one day will help me reach my goal of emotionally and spiritually happy girls.

*We never say the word, "FAT"  Even when I am reading stories, I replace the word, fat, with chunky or big. That word just gets to me and is unnecessary.  Same with the word, "Ugly."

* I encourage them to look in the mirror while I do their hair and say that they are pretty.

  

*I try to talk as much as I can about how it is fun to look pretty on the outside and that it's important to take care of ourselves, but that it's more important to BE pretty on the inside- by being kind, thoughtful, considerate, positive, patient, etc. 

 *We never talk about others and how they look, and what they are wearing, etc. Making fun of others is so negative and, I believe, creates us to be more critical of ourselves.

 * I allow my daughter to put her own outfits together, and do her hair herself (It takes constant practice on my end) because she wants to and cares about it, and arguing with her just makes the whole experience negative and puts a bigger impact on how we look. (Of course, I have exceptions based on the occasion).

 ^When they see me exercise, I tell them how it makes me feel good and helps me to get strong so that I can be more active. It's never about the weight.  

Healthy Self-Image and FOOD:

 

*When denying treats, I never say anything about the treats being BAD. I just tell them that they need to eat foods that will give them energy to play, and have fun. If all else fails- I turn to the topic of dental hygiene. It's never about Calories, Fat grams, or Weight gain.

  *We eat treats almost every day, and I try my best never to ramble on about how I have had too much, or  that I shouldn't eat it, or that I would probably eat the whole thing if I could....(Well, you get the idea).  I just eat it, enjoy it, and then move on.

 *When they eat the treats and ask for more, I always tell them, "We will have one later", rather than telling them they have had enough for one day. I don't want them to feel like they are "over-eaters" who can't control themselves- therefore, no more treats. I just tell them, "later", because it helps them understand that the treats are not gone forever, and it will be ok to eat them again. (I have found so much success in this. My girls will actually put a half-eaten ice cream cone down and say they have had enough!! )

 

I intend on doing a post about my weight-loss "Journey" in the future. I have found so many amazing resources that I would love to share. 

 Any thoughts on this? I would love to hear your suggestions. Feel free to comment. I am always searching for new ideas.